Prepare to surrender.
Man, I am out of practice.
We need to start playing as much as we did
when you were crashing with me.
Wow.
You do suck today.
Maybe we should go down to the alley.
Your dad should be here soon. Don't try to get out
of this butt-whuppin'. I texted him and I told him
to come up here to meet us.
Thanks for, uh, throwing work his way.
He needs the scratch. It's been a slow couple
of months at his garage.
(door opens)
Hey! Who's winning?
Hi, sweetheart. Hey.
How are you? Good.
Cabe, you ready to go check out your LeMans?
Love them old Pontiacs, huh?
(chuckles) Actually, I didn't ask you here
about the car. I, uh...
I need to talk to you about something else.
I don't understand. Me either.
What's going on, Cabe?
A few days ago, I got a call from the FBI.
They arrested Sonny Dubin.
They want me to convince you
to help them.
Who's Sonny Dubin?
Dad,
who's Sonny Dubin?
He runs a stolen car ring,
and years ago, when I still drank a lot,
before you were back in my life, I used to blast VIN numbers
off of vehicles he brought to me for a few bucks.
His operation has grown since you worked with him.
He's now using those cars to smuggle drugs
over the border. I didn't know anything about drugs.
I was just wiping VINs. I know.
But with drugs, bodies end up in the desert.
Feds want to RICO Dubin.
MR. QUINN: And they want me to testify.
I don't know anything, Cabe.
The guy would send me cars, I'd do my thing,
he'd take 'em back-- that was it.
That's all you got to say in court.
This Dubin guy kills people,
and you want my dad to take the stand against him?
Are you crazy? If he doesn't,
the Feds arrest him, they put the word out
that he's turning state's evidence.
Dubin's guys can get to him in a lockup
a hell of a lot easier than they can
if he's on the street.
God. (chuckles)
CABE: But I worked out a deal.
You cooperate, you get two years.
Two years?
They transfer you to a prison
out of state. They give you a fake name.
You'll be safe. But you have
to self-surrender by midnight tonight.
You're ambushing him.
I'm trying to help him.
Patrick,
if you don't cooperate,
the Feds will arrest you,
and you'll be incarcerated without protection.
If you run, the Feds or Dubin's guys will eventually find you.
Testifying is your only option.
Don't listen to him.
He's not a genius. There are other options
that he can't figure out but I can.
The Feds put you in a bad spot, huh?
All right.
I don't blame you. I...
I'll take the deal.
I do blame you.
I thought we were friends.
I'll talk to her.
(phone rings)
This is Cabe Gallo.
(whirring)
WALTER: Do you smell that, Sly?
That's the smell of ionic polymer metal
composite overheating. That's the smell of your defeat.
Yeah, well, you smell that?
That is the smell...
of me...
Where's this going?
...beating you.
Why would that have an odor?
That has an odor.
That wasn't supposed to happen.
The victor!
(groans) No. You didn't pin me.
I just had a malfunction.
Hey, Ralph, can you
help me out with this motor?
I wouldn't be of much service.
I'm a bit distracted today.
What's wrong, buddy?
Something at school. What is it?
Physics? Calculus? We can help.
Two girls asked me to the Valentine's dance.
(whispers): We can't help.
I don't know who to pick.
I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.
All right, let's break this down.
Did you notice you were touching your chest
while speaking to either lady?
That would indicate which gal most piques your interest.
WALTER: That's an easy solve. Take them both.
Alternate dancing with them every other song.
Efficient. I don't think
they'll like that very much.
Ralph, don't stress. The probability
of either of these girls being the one
is very low. Only two percent
of childhood sweethearts wind up together.
Sweethearts? What are you guys chatting about?
Nothing. Sociology.
(horn honking) Ride's here.
Got to go.
Bye...
What just happened here? WALTER: Here?
Nothing.
Does Ralph have a sweetheart? Sorry,
can't answer. Bro Code.
Yeah. Bro Code.
Ow! Ralph got asked to the Valentine's dance
by two different girls and he doesn't know what to do!
(gasps) Why wouldn't
he come to me with this problem? TOBY: Yeah, boys love
to go to their moms with girl problems.
And he trusts us to give sound advice.
About girls? What's next?
You guys gonna teach him how to play football?
I don't like this. CABE: Okay,
gather up. Got a call from the CIA.
That football comment-- that was sarcasm, right?
No, she really thinks you should teach Ralph how to tackle.
I think that was more sarcasm.
Okay, we got a case coming in on a secure line
from CIA Agent Harris Markman, Eastern Europe Desk.
Where's Happy? She should hear this. TOBY: She just texted.
She's gonna need a minute. Something with her dad.
We'll fill her in later.
Only thing they told me about this
is that it's time-sensitive.
Time-sensitive's an understatement. Agent Markman.
Well, we got a good connection. The floor's yours. Thank you, sir.
Two weeks ago, a CIA agent in Sardovia was murdered,
and his jump drive containing the names of Sardovian nationals
spying for the U.S. was stolen.
These nationals have risked their lives for years,
feeding us data on an Eastern Bloc dictatorship
that repeatedly violates human rights.
The list of their identities is encrypted,
but the Sardovians have already managed to break a couple names.
How can you be sure?
Two of our informants were killed.
Given the rate of decryption, we suspect they're using
an Enigma-type machine to crack the code.
A stream cipher, likely working off
of various algorithms simultaneously.
MARKMAN: The names on the list are individually encrypted
for exactly this scenario, so they have to be cracked
one by one. SYLVESTER: But if the encryptions were all generated
by the same program, as the cipher decodes them,
it'll pick up on idiosyncrasies
of the programmer, becoming more efficient.
(beeping) WALTER: You don't have weeks
to get your contacts out-- you have days, tops.
We've extracted everyone on the list, except for one.
Natalya Abelev.
The chess grandmaster?
She's ranked first in the world.
Natalya's father, a journalist,
spoke out against the regime, so they incarcerated him.
He died in prison.
She's been working with us since.
Her celebrity allows her to meet with heads of government,
see parts of the nation regular Sardovians have no access to.
She's been a wealth of information.
We owe it to Natalya to keep her safe.
We have to get her a code word, "green beans."
Code words.
"Green beans" is two words.
Um, yes,
it is. Anyway, that's our signal
for an emergency extraction. She knows where to meet us.
That sounds easy enough. What's the catch?
She's been sequestered by the Sardovian government
ahead of the International Chess Championship,
which starts tomorrow. Only people
she interacts with are her state-sponsored security
and the players that sit across her board,
from now until the tournament ends.
Well, if Cipher only has her encrypted name to solve,
it'll crack it before then.
They'll know she's been spying for the U.S. They'll kill her.
That's why we need your help. There are two wild card spots
remaining. We need at least one of those spots
to go to one of you.
It's an open, online competition
that starts within the hour.
If anybody can win their way
into this tournament on such short notice,
it's Scorpion.
CABE: They play through the tournament, reach Natalya,
and pass along the...
...code words.
Then I'll take her safely across the border.
CABE: When are we heading out? Scorpion's booked on a flight
to Sardovia leaving in two hours.
But, Agent Gallo, we need you to sit this one out.
Is there a problem?
If fake credentials are spotted, this all falls apart.
So everyone goes in as themselves.
Gallo's a federal agent.
They'd never let him into the country.
Understood.
Have to go now.
I'll see you at the tournament in 14 hours,
fill you in on the extraction plan then.
Okay, get online
and one of you win your way into that tournament.
What's the holdup?
We don't play chess.
Not anymore.
Why the hell not?
Why are we looking at a coat hook?
That is not a coat hook. That is a coat rook.
Wound up in this wall five years ago.
After a weeklong chess tournament.
A tournament that went horribly wrong.
You threw a rook in the wall?
Wasn't me.
Nope.
It was a three-way tie for points.
I was about to engage a masterful attack,
the Bishop's Gambit,
but then Walter sneezed on my knight.
It was an accident. J'accuse!
My knight was covered in your mucus.
The one piece I needed just happened to be the one
you doused with your filth.
One, I do not have the ability to aim my mucus.
Two, you could have cleaned it off. Not without
touching it. I played half the game with a dead pony!
At checkmate, Sly whipped this rook at Walt's head.
Not a half bad arm.
It was unbecoming.
So we vowed never to play the game again
for the sake of the team and our friendship.
PAIGE: All that over
a board game? Being petty is
no way to live a life. Chess is not a board game.
It's the ultimate test of genius and strategy
since the seventh century.
It's all about probabilities. After the first three moves,
there's 121 million possible positions.
Well, it's really a game of psychology,
anticipating your opponent's move before he knows himself.
I see. Still a board game. You can call it whatever you want.
But it's so intense Sly has to wear a mouthguard
because he grinds his teeth when he plays. Just wait
till you see his victory dance.
All right, I've heard enough.
We got a woman's life at risk.
Two of you will play in that tournament.
I'm out. Chess is a gateway game.
Start with pawns, wind up at the poker table.
And Happy doesn't play. There's no building involved.
All right, Happy can run point from the garage.
She's taking care of something with her dad for a little bit.
Walter and Sylvester, you guys log on to that wild card match
in ten.
PAIGE: You guys gonna be able
to get your head in the game by then?
(Joe Esposito's "You're the Best" playing)
♪ Try to be best, 'cause you're only a man, and a man's ♪
♪ Got to learn to take it ♪
♪ Try to believe, though the going gets rough ♪
♪ That you got to hang tough to make it ♪
♪ History repeats itself ♪
♪ Try and you'll succeed ♪
♪ Never doubt that you're the one ♪ Let's do this.
♪ And you can have your dreams ♪
♪ You're the best around ♪
♪ Nothing's gonna ever keep you down ♪
♪ You're the best around ♪
Checkmate!
♪ Nothing's gonna ever keep you down ♪
Too easy. ♪ You're the best ♪
♪ Around ♪
Oh, one more. That's two. Checkmate.
Nice!
(laughs) I'm in!
(giggling) ♪ You're the best ♪
I'm a wild card. So am I.
I had enough time to make this.
Look at that.
It's quite lifelike, isn't it?
Hey. Just got to the tournament.
Flight was bumpy.
I'm sorry-- I got a mouth full of Georgian pizza.
How you doing? When I left
you were kind of off. I'm just
helping my dad with some stuff.
You know, I was reading markers on Cabe
when he said you were with Patrick.
I can tell he's worried about you.
Cabe doesn't know anything. I'm fine.
I got to go, okay? Bye.
Don't blame Cabe.
He's trying to help, there aren't any options.
Not necessarily. I may have an idea.
Happy, I know this is hard for you to accept, okay?
I'm going to lockup.
Okay, but that doesn't mean you have to stay there.
(siren wailing) How much farther?
End of the block.
Oh, well, I hope your hands don't freeze in the cold.
Might affect your game.
I could beat you with my feet.
Hey, look, there's Markman in front of the tournament hall.
(speaking Russian)
TOBY: Hey, look,
there's Markman getting arrested.
Keep moving, they haven't made us yet.
(siren wailing)
There's an airport three miles behind us.
Maybe we should just go home.
Even if we reach Natalya now,
who are we supposed to deliver her to?
No Cabe, no Markman.
Guess we have to save her on our own.
Thought we were just here to play chess.
We're at the competition, but we still have no idea what to do.
We need to get a breakdown of Markman's extraction plan
from the CIA. Markman was the only one who knew the plan
for security purposes, and as far as the CIA's concerned,
you guys do not exist. Just get our target
to the Belarus border,
ten miles from the city center.
There's CIA on the ground, and they'll help.
Just focus on getting Natalya alone
and smuggling her over the border.
WALTER: If they knew of Markman,
for all we know they figured out Natalya already
and grabbed her as well.
Negative. There she is.
Well, if they knew she was a spy,
she'd be arrested, so they must have
just been on Markman's tail as a potential infiltrator
and picked him up.
So for now, Natalya's safe.
TOBY: Look at that security detail.
How do we get her alone? Ladies' room.
Can't you hold it until we figure this out? Her guards
are all male. They won't follow her
into the ladies' room. She'll be alone there.
CABE: Oh, that's a good call.
Whoever winds up playing Natalya
tells her to head to the bathroom.
Oh, copy that. I'll tell her. No.
I'll tell her, because I will make it to the championship.
Oh, yeah, that's what's important right now.
Oh, look, everybody's headed into the competition room.
You putzes go play; Paige and I'll
figure out the Natalya of it all.
No comms. People see you
with 'em, they'll think you're cheating. Fine,
as someone with my ability
wouldn't need that advantage
anyway. Mmm, not when you can just
blast 'em with bacteria. It was dusty.
PAIGE: Focus. This isn't about the game.
This is about reaching Natalya as soon as possible.
And you all said it yourselves: it won't be long
before the decryption machine cracks her name. Let's go.
Welcome, chess fans, to the annual
International Chess Championship.
The best players in the world
have gathered to compete for the title.
Take your assigned seat
and prepare for commencement of the opening round.
Not much competition here.
Bunch of kooks and amateurs.
Case in point:
Chester Perozzi.
He won't play
without his noise-blocking headset.
He thinks his opponents send out subliminal audio messages
to disrupt his concentration.
I played him in a juniors tournament eight years ago.
Wiped the board with him.
Natalya Abelev has just entered the main stage.
Sardovia's star player is the reigning queen on the board.
SYLVESTER: She's in pool one, but we're both in pool two.
And the first chance we'll get to play her
is in the finals.
May the best man win.
I plan to.
ANNOUNCER: Players, take your seats.
Round one will begin in two minutes.
No vents, no windows.
How do we get Natalya out of here?
Oh, it's too bad she's a she,
there's a big window in the men's room.
I can't get her out that way.
What are you doing in the men's room?
Do you really want me to answer that question?
HAPPY: The women's room and the men's room
share a wall. Just cut through and you'll have
a clear exit.
No, that's not an exit as much as a 40-foot plummet
to her death.
Oh, great, so we're screwed. TOBY: Not necessarily.
I have an idea. Uh, love bug,
we'll check in with you later.
Paige, it's time to carbo load.
What are those?
They look a lot like prison specs.
Yeah, well, you look a lot like a jerk.
Hey, if you're thinking about
hacking into the jail's network
to help your father, think again.
Or what, you gonna arrest me, too?
No, and I know I can't stop you.
You're smarter than me and you'd just
figure out a way to go behind my back.
Like you did to me.
I tried to help your dad
because I care about you.
If you try to spring him from that place,
it's only gonna make things worse
when the U.S. marshals find him.
And they will find him.
You're supposed to be brilliant.
Act like it.
Best of luck.
Luck is a construct for the untalented, so
let's play chess.
I must break you.
Checkmate.
Pleasure.
Checkmate.
(yawns)
Is this your first time playing?
Checkmate.
I'm stumped.
I got three ways I can beat you,
but I don't know which to use.
Know what, I'll use the pawn.
They never get to be the hero.
Checkmate.
Well, looks like we're playing each other next.
And the winner plays Natalya.
One of us should forfeit.
We have to reach her before Cipher cracks her name,
and there's no telling how long our match could take.
That'd be a wise move.
Yeah.
Fine. You want to play? I have ten minutes to kill.
Know what my nickname was in chess club?
Susie?
The Chess Vulture.
Because I peck away at my opponents
until there's nothing left but a rotting carcass.
That's dumb. Any other bird would work in that analogy.
I'll gonna call you the Chess...
Ostrich.
That would be wrong, because I'm the Chess Vulture.
ANNOUNCER: Will Mr. Dodd and Mr. O'Brien
make their way to the chessboard?
I got baking soda and more dough than Warren Buffett.
How goes you? Okay. I'm going in.
Hey, can I get that
vodka on the rocks, please?
Right under the men's room. This'll be your landing zone.
Ugh, it stinks. Yes, it is a Dumpster.
Just help me put in the ingredients.
Are you sure this is gonna work?
HAPPY: The lemon juice and baking soda will act
as a rising agent, only faster and fluffier.
It'll be like landing on a giant muffin.
And speaking of muffins,
how about our stud muffin Ralphy-boy, huh?
Two dates, one dance.
Takes after Uncle Toby.
Yeah, I wouldn't know much about it,
since he seems to only want to talk about it with the IQ Crew.
Ralph came to us because we think like him.
Yeah, about sciencey stuff.
Matters of the heart are my territory.
If he doesn't need me for that, he doesn't need me
for anything at all.
You guys should stay in your lane.
You're mad at us for helping your son?
You're the one who said being petty is no way to live a life.
Don't use my words against me, I hate that. Okay, I'm done. All right,
just set it and forget it. Okay. This gets her out of the building, now how do we
get her out of the country? HAPPY (over radio): You guys'll already be in the Dumpster,
just stay there.
Toby can hot-wire a garbage truck,
haul away the Dumpster,
have Walt and Sly jump into the back, and drive into Belarus.
Oh, yeah,
just that easy.
It's a smart plan.
If you guys get stopped, the guards aren't likely
to dig through the trash.
Now, there is a municipal vehicle depot
five miles outside of the city.
(digital trilling)
(beeping)
♪ ♪
(whispering): Walter.
What?
(muffled): Natalya...
(normal voice): Natalya is about to win.
We need to settle things up here
so one of us can go sit across from her ASAP.
Fine. You forfeit.
You're losing anyway.
One, I am not losing.
You are falling into a classic Monticelli trap
and you don't even see it, and two,
I'm a Grandmaster.
If anyone should forfeit, it is you.
It appears Dodd and O'Brien are having words with each other.
One can only imagine the advanced
psychological gamesmanship
these two skilled players must be engaged in.
The Chess Raven, the Chess Possum, the Chess Weasel.
Any one of those is better than
the Chess Vulture.
Fermented fish is disgusting; everybody thinks so.
Right, well, Super Fun Guy is dumb.
Who fights crime with a rubber chicken?
No one.
Super Dumb Guy.
Still smarter than playing chess without a bishop.
Ooh. That's right.
That just happened.
Caw!
Oh.
(sighs)
Okay, Happy, I'm staring at a solid wall.
How do I get through it?
It's Cold War era, Soviet bloc construction.
It is cheap sheetrock that is most likely weak
from decades of water damage.
Just crack the shell and peel that egg!
(sighs) With what?
(sighs)
$200.
(sighs)
I don't know about this.
It's simple.
After you self-surrender, they process you in this room.
You see the emergency exit to the right of the desk?
As soon as the clerk goes to the back
to catalog all your personal effects,
I'll turn off the alarm.
When the light
above the door switches off, you walk.
I'll leave
a cuff key under a brick in the alley outside.
I don't know, Happy.
You'll need to get as big a head start as possible.
Have a lot of personal effects on you
so the clerk will take a while
to enter all of them into the system.
This could go very bad.
They won't catch you.
Just leave the junker at the corner
with the keys under the mat.
You can get to the border in a few hours.
Okay, what if they trace it back to you? Then what?
They won't.
Dad, unless you want to go to prison, you need to trust me.
I need to take a walk.
I need to think.
Okay.
But I just got you back in my life.
I don't want to lose you now.
ANNOUNCER: Natalya Abelev appears to be no more
than one move away from a spot in the finals.
Meanwhile, the Americans continue to lock horns.
(whispers): That's a move you're gonna want back.
But as my Uncle Hortance
always said, "You can't untoast bread."
What was his other expression?
Oh, yeah. "You're a loser, O'Brien."
(sneezes loudly)
(groans)
You did it again! Son of a butcher!
I think I'm
coming down with a cold.
I knew it!
You just have to be the best at everything, don't you?!
You couldn't let me have this one thing!
Oh, I suggest you regain your composure and make a move.
We have a case to complete.
Unless, of course, you can't continue playing
for some reason.
Your jejune antics are sadly not surprising,
so I came prepared.
(clears throat)
Checkmate goes to...
the Chess Vulture!
Caw-caw! Caw-caw! Caw-caw!
All right. Caw-caw!
Sylvester Dodd is moving on to the finals!
Caw-caw! Caw-caw! And he seems to be engaged
in some kind of victory ritual. Caw-caw!
Ca... WOMAN: Mr. Dodd?
I'm the official scorer for the tournament.
And you would like an autograph?
Absolutely.
WOMAN: I hate to be the bearer of such news,
but you disrupted the board before
it could be certified.
Under international rules, you are disqualified.
Huh?
(panting)
You heard the woman. You broke the rules.
You lose. Madam, I am ready
to play for the championship. I am so
sorry, Mr. O'Brien.
Technical disqualification does not erase your loss
to Mr. Dodd.
So,
Mr. Perozzi will ascend
to the championship round. (Sylvester gasps)
ANNOUNCER: In an unprecedented turn of events,
Chester Perozzi will now be playing Natalya Abelev
for the title!
Now neither of us will sit
across from Natalya. We have
no way to get the message to her.
We checkmated ourselves.
ANNOUNCER: You can see right here on the replay
few pieces survived the impact.
Just a black eye
for the game of chess.
Not good.
Well, what's not good? HAPPY: Those idiots
just got themselves kicked out of the tournament. WALTER: Guys?
Chester Perozzi is set to play Natalya.
We have no way to get to her now.
Well, whatever you two did, undo it. You need to get back
to the tournament and give Natalya the code word.
Why are you whispering?
'Cause the only thing
separating me from the men's room is
a thin layer of shoddy Soviet
workmanship, and I think it's best that nobody
hear me.
That's how we get Perozzi out of the tournament--
with something no one can hear.
We use infrasound on him. Toby, can that work?
Theoretically, but you'd have to be precise.
What's infrasound? TOBY: Sound waves
emitted at a frequency lower
than what humans can consciously hear.
It causes adverse reactions: vertigo, nausea, panic.
He's gonna want to get out of that room ASAP,
which'll get him disqualified.
SYLVESTER: And Walter is next in line
to play Natalya. Right.
We just have to hack Chester's Bluetooth headphones
and upload an infrasound audio file.
TOBY: To disrupt the guy's
autonomic nervous system,
you're gonna want to isolate everything below 20 hertz.
We're on it. Let's go.
(truck engine starts)
Look what I learned from my main squeeze.
(speaks indistinctly)
I have hacked Perozzi's headset.
And I have isolated the infrasound from a tiger's roar.
It's known to cause paralysis in humans.
I'm sending you the file now.
Okay. Got it. (phone chimes)
Sending it off to Perozzi.
(speaking Russian)
It's working.
SYLVESTER: He looks awful.
(groans)
Mr. Perozzi? Mr. Perozzi?!
ANNOUNCER: A stunning
turn of events!
Perozzi has left the stage,
apparently quite ill,
forfeiting his position!
He's heading to the bathroom! Paige,
stop breaking the wall!
(vomiting) God.
What did you do to the guy?
TOBY: He'll be fine. We're the ones in trouble.
We're running out of time!
That cipher machine can't have much longer to go.
(trilling, beeping)
MR. QUINN: Happy?
Hey. You ready to do this?
What are these?
Keys to my garage and tow truck.
If you could run the engine once in while
so it doesn't seize up, I'd appreciate it.
Because you'll be locked up, or because you'll take my offer?
(door opens)
Guys.
You here for your prisoner?
Patrick, we need to be there by midnight.
Those were the terms.
Yeah, I understand.
And I hate to do this,
but regulation says I need to cuff you
to bring you in.
Can I have a moment with my daughter?
Sure.
Thanks.
(quietly): The door will open.
I'll have the truck at the corner.
Keys under the mat.
You need to walk me down the aisle.
(handcuffs clicking)
(door slams shut)
ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentleman,
the championship match is about to commence.
Overhead microphones will be turned on
above their board so every aspect
of the gamesmanship can be experienced.
Guys, they have mics on the match!
Walter can't tell Natalya to head to the bathroom
without everyone hearing, including her security!
Well, I am knee-deep in drywall,
Toby's in a stolen garbage truck,
and there is a
chess nerd barfing his brains out.
We're in too deep to quit.
Walter will think of something.
I've really enjoyed my visit to Sardovia.
It's a beautiful nation.
I've grown very fond of the food.
Gregorian pizza, fresh vegetables,
rhubarb, beets...
green beans.
(clock clicks)
There's much to love about our cuisine.
I know a great spot to get green beans,
always fresh.
The players are oddly chatty during this final round.
Much discussion about produce.
Yes, I am aware of that spot,
but I know a place with fresher options.
It's so good, it really is the only option.
What's he doing now?
He just moved a knight to C3,
and faced it outwards,
towards the numbers.
Why? Is that a chess thing? TOBY: No,
it's a checkers thing. Of course it's a chess thing!
The knight is facing sideways
in space C3-- he's telling her to look at that space
from a different angle.
Because from a side angle, that 3 looks like a "W."
That gives you W.C.,
short in Europe for "water closet."
Which means bathroom, I got it.
Let's just hope Natalya does, too.
WALTER: I don't know what to do.
There's so many ways to look at this move.
Finish your move already.
(clock clicks)
Checkmate.
ANNOUNCER: That's it!
It's over!
Natalya Abelev has defended her title
in what may go down as
the oddest championship match we've ever seen!
(speaks Russian)
(cipher pings)
(applause)
What's happening? Is she headed this way?
Yes, but it's too crowded.
We're beginning to lose sight of her.
(sirens blaring)
You're not the only ones looking for her.
I think it's safe to say
the cipher has cracked the code
and the state police are after our chess queen.
Walter!
I am alone in a damn bathroom and I need to know
if Natalya is headed this way because this place
is crawling with cops and if we can't save her,
we need to at least save ourselves.
Green beans?
Oh, yes! Green beans!
Totally green beans! Guys, I got her!
Toby, get that truck in the alley now. Stand back.
(grunts)
Okay. Okay.
Okay, slide under that door.
(coughs and pants) PAIGE: Uh...
Don't mind us. Feel better.
(coughing)
(Perozzi vomits)
Okay, we need to jump.
NATALYA: What's in there?
Dumpster bread. It'll break our fall.
Theoretically. (pounding on door and yelling in Russian)
They're in the ladies room!
Come on, time to go!
You can do it.
(Natalya groans)
(quietly): Okay.
Oh!
(door breaks open)
Order of bread, coming up!
(policemen continue yelling in Russian)
They saw us. Walt, our cover's blown.
We need to pick you boys up
and get over the border, stat.
We're on the street, headed to the southeast corner
of Alexandra Plaza.
(sirens wailing)
We have company.
HAPPY: Guys, you need a plan.
A garbage truck from the 80s
does not have the horsepower to outrun
a fleet of cop cars.
We need a knight block; separate the cop cars
from the trash truck.
That'll only give us a small head start.
They'll catch up.
What we need is a queen's swap;
a classic slight of hand
to get Natalya out of the Dumpster.
Only Natalya? Nice try, but if we're sacrificing a pawn,
it ain't gonna be me!
But I'm right.
Really? Who got to the finals?
PAIGE: Wha-- shut up! You've been fighting all day.
so block a knight, swap a queen, sacrifice a pawn,
whatever, just do it now.
TOBY: Even if we get away from the cops,
how are we gonna get over the border
in a garbage truck that's on every alert in the country?
You don't go over the border, you go under it.
Remember, the city center's only ten miles
away from the border, and during the Cold War,
Soviet nations shared infrastructure.
I'm looking up sewer plans
for the capital of Sardovia.
Okay, got it.
Pipes go right under the border into Belarus.
If you drop into the pipes at Gruschev Tunnel,
you can walk right out of Sardovia, unseen.
Toby, where are you now?
Half a mile from Alexandra Plaza.
You need to circle back here fast.
(tires screech)
(yells in Russian)
(sirens wailing)
(policeman speaking in Russian)
(speaking Russian)
(speaking in Russian)
Hey! You guys all right?
You find us a lift once we hit Belarus?
Walter's on the phone with Cabe.
CABE: Thought you were driving over the border.
How'd you end up in the sewer?
Sly and I knew we had to come up with something.
Something bold that would eliminate our attackers,
but preserve our pieces.
So we both thought of the Bishop's Gambit
at the same time.
It's a three-move strategy;
the knight blocks, the queen is swapped out
and a pawn is sacrificed.
And our first move was a knight block to cut off the cop cars.
Thank you.
(speaks Russian) TOBY: When I saw the horse statutes
earlier in the day,
I noticed the legs were oxidizing
and cracked from cheap bronze-magnesium alloy.
The magnesium burns quickly,
especially when mixed with the potassium chlorate
found in the sparklers being sold
by the street vendors to tourists.
As heat weakened the metal at the base, the horses fell.
(tires screech)
Next we needed to get out of the Dumpster.
That was the queen swap.
I am destroying these shoes today.
(both grunting)
The fallen horses gave us a 15-second window
to get out of the truck without being seen.
TOBY: Next part was the pawn sacrifice,
starring yours truly as the pawn.
Cops were after their queen, so I knew they'd ignore me.
But my sacrifice wasn't too risky
because I had the lovely and talented Happy Quinn
directing me to the nearest drain capable of receiving
my lithe, fit body.
(phone chimes)
Just got a text from Homeland.
Walt, they'll be sending you
the rendezvous coordinates in Belarus.
You are the oddest bunch of agents I've ever worked with.
We get that a lot.
Are you okay?
I'm leaving my country.
Forever.
Why did you, uh, risk all of this?
You were living the life there
and you're a national treasure.
My father died in the Gulag when I was 12
because he was a reporter who spread the truth.
I owed it to him to finish his mission.
I missed him so much.
Chess was my refuge.
There's no emotion in chess,
just math and strategy.
So it was more than a board game?
It was a good place to hide
until I learned that when it comes to people you love,
sometimes there's no refuge.
Sometimes there's just pain.
WALTER: Just heard from our CIA contact.
When we meet them, our code words
are "Pea Pod."
These guys love vegetables.
♪ ♪
HAPPY: Okay, Dad.
Here we go.
(door clicks)
Come on, Dad.
I love you, sweetheart.
(sobs quietly)
(groaning)
Happy?
(crying): You glad?!
You got what you wanted?!
You know I didn't.
I'm looking at a friend,
a really good friend,
whose heart is breaking.
And I'm just wishing I could've done more.
(sobbing)
I'm sorry, kid.
(softly): I'm so sorry, kid.
I'm so sorry.
RALPH: Guys, I need some advice.
Green brings out my eyes, but purple makes me look older.
Uh, Ralphy, uh...
let's talk for a second.
Do you remember your first microscope?
Sure, Mom sent in box tops from my Fruity Moons.
I loved it.
But later, you graduated to other microscopes.
At which point you probably put the first one
in the back of your closet.
Nope, I tossed that piece of junk.
WALTER: Right.
'Cause as you get older, you'll start to connect
to the things that meld with your unique intellect better.
Just like we all did.
TOBY: Hey, Ralph,
uh, you can't treat your mom
like your first microscope, kid.
And you've kind of been doing that.
But my mom's not a piece of junk, my mom's great.
Right, so make sure she knows you feel that way, okay, buddy?
WALTER: Hmm.
Who'd ever think I'd be giving emotional advice to a genius?
It's the blind leading the blind.
Why don't you eat something?
You look miserable.
I am.
How's Happy holding up?
She's resting.
I'm gonna go see her now.
You know, I tried every move I could with the Feds.
Pulled every favor,
used every strategy.
And in the end, I still wound up with that sweet kid
crying in my arms.
'Cause strategy is for games, like chess.
I heard Natalya say
that sometimes, when it comes to the people we love,
there's no refuge.
Sometimes there's just pain.
Happy's gonna get through this pain,
if we help her.
But now she has no father.
Eh, not exactly, she's got you.
We all do.
We, uh...
we got the guy who always has our back.
RALPH: Mom?
I really need your help with the dance.
You do?
It seems at these things they use
the word "dance" as a verb, as well as a noun.
And I don't know how to do the verb.
You want me to teach you to dance?
If you have time.
(chuckles softly)
Okay, I have the perfect CD at home.
We can practice all night.
Ooh!
Bye, guys, see you tomorrow.
Bye.
(quietly): Hey, hey.
Good boy.
(door closes)
And then there were two.
Are you sure you want to do this?
You have to remember, you play great,
but I'm a great player.
You ready?
Absolutely.
And for the record,
I sneezed on purpose.
Son of a bi...