-Ripped by Rapunzel- ...@addic7ed.com...
("Jambalaya" by The Plainsmen playing)
♪ Jambalaya and a crawfish pie ♪
♪ And a fillet gumbo ♪
♪ 'Cause tonight ♪
♪ I'm gonna see my ma cher amio ♪
♪ Pick guitar, fill fruit jar ♪
♪ And be gay-o ♪
♪ Son of a gun, we'll have big fun ♪
♪ On the bayou ♪
♪ Son of a gun, we'll have big fun ♪
♪ On the bayou. ♪
♪ ♪
(blinds rattling)
Where am I?
NURSE: You're in the hospital.
You just had surgery.
Oh.
That's why it hurts so bad.
Hey, sugar.
Hi, Mom.
How'd everything go?
Did they get all the cancer?
It went just fine.
Sweetie, it went just fine.
Why'd you look at the nurse like that?
Oh, my God, I'm bleeding.
It's all right.
Don't worry, sugar, we're making it so you never
-have to see those scars. -But my arms.
Don't y'all feel like you're going too high?
It's all right.
(muffled): Mom, what are you doing?
Mom, what are you doing? Stop.
(monitor beeping, respirator hissing loudly)
I can't... I can't breathe. I can't breathe!
(muffled speaking, heart monitor flatlining)
(song fading in): ♪ Survive... ♪
(music stops)
(sighs)
♪ ♪
(coffee machine burbling)
Hey, you know you don't have to wait, right?
Beg your pardon?
You can get a cup before it's done.
It's designed to stop dripping when you pull the pot out.
I prefer to let the machine complete its process.
Right.
(Bonkerz meowing)
Good morning, Bonkerz.
Hey, look what the cat dragged in.
-(Remy chuckles) -Good morning, Bonkerz.
Like to have your breakfast? Come on.
(Bonkerz meows)
Bill is the only person on the planet
that could get a cat on a schedule.
-It's true. -Hey...
could I borrow your car tonight?
At like 3:00 a.m.?
For what?
(sighs) I have to re-record my show
and that's the only time the local station could give me.
Why do you have to re-record it?
Apparently the file I sent to L.A.
was "unusable."
I guess the acoustics in the closet
weren't as good as I thought they were.
You're looking better this morning.
Perhaps my recent contribution
is already having the desired effect.
Bill's got some good shit, huh? Hmm?
-Ugh, I hate my life. -(Remy chuckles)
Oh, I see.
You've made your way through most
of your mother's belongings.
I assume you'll be heading for Los Angeles soon.
Yeah.
Oh, God.
I need to start looking into flights today.
Well, then, this is perhaps
a perfect time to discuss your future.
-My future? -Tig,
like your mother, one day I will die.
-And I feel that it is my duty... -(Remy laughs)
He said "duty."
...to make sure that you're not left
in a fragile financial position.
What is this?
That is a Roth IRA.
If I put in the maximum amount annually,
assuming that I live for at least ten years,
it should provide a comfortable retirement nest egg.
Wow.
Bill, that's really nice, but...
I'm good.
You're not good.
You have no pension, you have no property.
That's not true. I own a bicycle.
Your medical expenses ate up what little savings you have.
What if something should happen again?
I don't need your help.
You've given me enough. You've done your duty.
(Remy chuckles)
(Tig laughs quietly)
Very well.
You know, if you're, uh...
looking to get rid of some cash, Bill,
I'm more than willing to take it off your hands.
Why would I give you money, Remy?
You have a steady job teaching,
your rent is well below market value.
That reminds me.
Your lease is up for renegotiating next week.
Already?
And I certainly hope you've gotten further along
with those improvements.
-(doorbell rings) -Oh, I'll get that.
What is it?
It's a package.
For Mom.
Well, that's not surprising.
She was a great one for impulse purchasing.
This is probably the last thing she ever bought.
Well, we probably shouldn't open it.
(clicks tongue)
Hmm.
It's a shame they're too small,
'cause I could use some new bras.
But...
It was a joke.
I see.
Well, maybe you know someone who can use them.
I'm trying to think, do I know anybody with boobs?
Guess I'll just return 'em.
I think that would be best.
"Dalton Green"?
"Japonica Lane."
Oh, there you are.
Hey, um...
do you know a Dalton Green?
No, why? Is that, like, an actor or something?
No.
Oh, uh...
Mick and Girlie are here.
-Why? -They brought a pig.
-A pet pig? -It's grief food.
Like a roasted pig.
It's supposed to make the sadness go away.
-Not for the pig. -True.
Do you think that
Mick wants to be close, now that Mom's dead?
I mean, a delicious pig, it's a good start.
That's true, it makes up for everything.
As I said to your brother,
I apologize for not coming over before now.
It's just been a little hard on me
since your mother passed.
Are we waiting on the pig?
Is this just appetizers?
-Yeah, I think we're waiting on the pig. -Okay.
MICK: Sorry.
I don't mean to cry.
It's okay.
So, how's everything, Tig?
Uh, everything in my... entire life, or...
Whatever you want to tell me.
Things are fine.
Yeah.
How are-how are you doing?
Well, Girlie and I
are working on opening a pizza place.
Really?
-Yeah. -(chuckles)
But not your traditional kind, no.
It'd be kind of a blend of our two cultures.
Instead of regular Italian toppings,
we'll be using Filipino spices
and meats and things.
It's pretty yummy.
-That's great. -Yeah.
Uh, Ding Dong even came up with the perfect name:
Girlie's Filipizza.
That's great.
We're in talk with a few investors,
and they are crazy about the idea.
Yeah, good luck with that.
Well, thank you, son.
-(bell ringing in distance) -Son?
Everything okay, Bill?
Bonkerz missed her 12:00 feed.
She's not in any of her usual hiding places.
I'm sure she's around someplace.
No, no.
She would've responded to the bell.
She must've gotten out
when you opened the door for the delivery man.
TIG: It was literally two seconds.
The guy handed me the package,
I shut the door.
There's no way she got out.
I can't believe he's blaming me.
I can't believe I'm gonna miss this game to go look for a cat.
Make 100... make 200 copies.
They've got a Xerox machine at the library.
I know. I live here.
I think it's best if you post them where people gather.
At the, uh, bookstore,
coffee shops, kiosks.
At the school, supermarkets.
Yes, Bill, we're humans.
We know where people gather.
I'll be here in case Bonkerz returns.
You think that's the best photograph?
It conveys her physical attributes, but
maybe it would've been better to use one that
captures her unique personality.
I think it was best to go with the externals in this case.
Call me with any updates.
Okay.
I just phoned a few pals to organize
-a search posse. -Ah.
-They should be here within the hour. -No, thank you.
That-that will not be necessary.
No need to thank me.
Don't worry.
I go way back with these guys.
And I can assure you they have a real knack
for locating valuable objects.
Mm-hmm.
(whispers): Dixie Mafia.
REMY: "Dixie Mafia."
-(music plays on radio) -We all know those guys
are just his drinking buddies from the '70s.
Who stole stuff.
Yeah, but we shoplifted comics and candy,
doesn't mean we're part of some crime organization.
Did you see Bill's face when Mick said
he was gonna bring those guys by the house?
Sheer terror.
I cannot believe Mom married him.
Which one?
Mick's got his charms.
And you have to admit,
it's pretty sweet how emotional he is about Mom.
Bill's emotional about Mom.
-(splutters) -Well, he is!
He's just more private about his feelings.
Well, he's certainly not private about his love for Bonkerz.
(car horn honking, doors opening)
(Mick cackles)
Hey, guys. How's it hanging?
Pretty low these days, I'm afraid.
(laughter)
MICK: Bill?
-This is Cal, and that's Spanky. -Hi.
Pleased to meet you, Cal, Spanky.
This is some neighborhood you live in.
Spanks and I were admiring the homes as we drove up.
MICK: Well, you ought to see Bill's house.
It is gorgeous inside.
I'll bet.
You mind me asking what you do for a living, Bill?
I'm in the... frozen food industry.
Frozen food?
Wow!
Good for you!
Would you mind putting that out?
Bonkerz can't stand the smell.
Who the hell is Bonkerz?
That's Bill's cat.
The one I told you about.
Wait...
it's an actual cat?
(Cal laughing)
We thought when you told us his cat went missing,
you meant his woman.
(laughing)
Uh, sorry there, Bill, no disrespect.
-(car horn honks, tires screech) -Hey, there's Jer.
-All right! -(groans)
BILL: Uh, I'm gonna go inside.
-In case someone calls. -MICK: No worries.
We're cool. Jerry!
Hey, Jer, doesn't this place remind you
of the job we pulled in '78?
-Oh, yeah. -Look at them windows.
You'd have to butter me up to get me in there now.
(laughter)
Let's go find a cat.
(indistinct P.A. announcement)
Goddamn it!
I knew they were gonna lose.
I'm gonna go get some snacks.
You want anything to eat?
No, I'm still full from our lunch we had an hour ago.
All right.
BOY: Hey, Coach Remy.
Hey, Jamie Baxter, how are you, man?
-All right. -Good.
-How those legs doing? -Oh.
-Still tired from that workout yesterday? -No.
(mockingly): "No, no."
Maybe I'll go a little harder on you next time.
-All right, go ahead. -All right. -Hey.
Thought you were getting my Pantene.
Oh, I was just getting some bars first.
Gonna introduce your mama or what?
-Coach Remy, this is my mama. -(scoffs)
-Bibby. -Hi, Bibby.
Can't believe I haven't met you before.
You been hiding up in the bleachers at Jamie's games?
Well, she never comes to games.
I work.
I mean, it can be hard for parents who work.
Lot of weekday games.
But if you ever get a chance
to make it in on Saturday,
I promise you, you will be impressed.
I mean this kid of yours...
he's one of the best athletes I've had in...
ten years of coaching.
Aw. Well,
I work weekends.
I'm a card dealer.
Oh, over at the casinos in Biloxi?
Yeah, Boomtown.
Oh, "Where everyone knows your game."
-(chuckles) -Yeah, I love that place.
-Oh, yeah? -Yeah.
You should come by my table next time you're around.
Uh... I will, yeah.
Yeah.
Definitely will. I most definitely will.
Hey, um...
we better get going.
We still have 3,000 flyers to put up.
Uh, Tig, this is Jamie.
He's one of my students and star athletes.
-How's it going? -This is his mama,
-Bibby. -(chuckles)
Hi Bibby.
Uh, m-my sister here, from L.A.
Oh.
Nice.
Yeah.
REMY: I mean,
if you were to take everything I'm into
and run it through a computer program,
that is who would pop out of the printer.
Wow.
Okay, well...
She's into me, right?
You're her son's teacher.
Yeah, but only for a few more months.
I should get that window fixed at my place.
What? For when Bibby spends the night?
You don't think I can get her.
I guess it's possible.
Need I remind you who was voted "Most likely
to marry Pamela Anderson" in high school?
In high school.
Hey, didn't, uh, Caswell turn into Japonica?
Yeah, but I thought we were going to the park.
I know, but, I mean, we have so many flyers,
we might as well hit some residential areas.
All right.
MAN: Come here. I gotcha.
Come here.
Find something, Jer?
No. Just a squirrel.
-CAL: Keep looking. -JERRY: Come here.
(loud thump)
(Mick laughing)
Mick, what happened?
I heard a crash.
Oh, yeah. Sorry about that.
I'm trying to throw a Coke to Travis up there.
You all right up there, buddy? (chuckles)
It ricocheted off the roof.
I almost hit him in the head.
Mick.
I'm afraid the search party
really isn't working out.
Of course, I'm going to pay you
and your friends for your troubles.
We're not here for the money, Bill.
This is about friends helping friends.
You don't know what it means to me,
you taking care of my kids.
I'm forever in your debt.
We're gonna find Bonkerz.
I promise.
♪ ♪
Can I help you?
I'm looking for Dalton Green.
Yeah.
Oh, is that you?
Uh, this...
This is kind of weird, but, um,
do you know Caroline Flanagan?
Yeah, I do. Why?
Who are you?
I'm her daughter.
Oh, wow.
Uh, Tig, right?
Yeah.
Wait, I-I-I'm sorry, do I know you?
I'm your brother.
Well, sort of.
So, yeah,
my parents must have been
going through a rough period...
'cause my, uh, dad had some kind of thing with your mom,
Caroline, when she was really young.
How young?
Like, 17.
So she got pregnant with me.
Wait, this is my mother.
Yeah, I got a birth certificate here somewhere
-if you want me to find it. -No, it's fine. No.
I mean, I asked to see it when they told me.
But my real mom,
uh, the one that raised me,
she couldn't have kids, so they kept me.
And you know... pretended they were happy.
So your mom knew you were my mom's kid with your dad.
She was pretty religious, and she thought
it was the right thing to do.
And when did you find out?
After my mom died, Caroline started hanging around.
What do you mean, "hanging around"?
Seeing my dad again.
No way.
Yeah, she loved to come around.
TIG: Oh, my God.
This is insane.
What, is this Africa?
Yeah. Yeah,
this was my high school graduation present.
This is unbelievable.
My brother and I never went anywhere.
Oh, it wasn't all that great...
having an out-of-control woman
crashing all your family trips
and then going home to her real family.
That's true.
Have fun.
I'll see you later.
Not coming caroling?
No, I got to go by Juju's.
She's got the blues ever since Ace left.
Are those our presents?
No, they're for Juju.
Since when does Juju play hoops?
(laughs)
Well, I thought Juju might want to get some exercise.
Bye.
(door closes)
(sighs)
If it makes you feel any better,
I was getting molested
while she was ruining all your family vacations.
Oh, God.
-Is that true? -So...
Well, I've been in a wheelchair my whole life.
Yeah. Sorry.
-Hmm. -I had cancer, almost died.
-But you didn't. -That's true.
But you know who did?
REMY: Tig?
Tig, what the hell are you doing?
-I was getting worried. -Is that Remy?
Yeah, that's him.
You look more like me than him.
This is all so incredibly weird.
Will someone please tell me what's happening?
(dog barking)
What are you doing in my cabinets?
We're just looking for some containers
to put this food away for you.
Not necessary.
I'll handle it. Thank you.
Okay. Bill?
I feel like I let you down today.
Oh, don't be ridiculous.
You did what you could.
Well, uh, I guess we should get going.
You sure there's nothing else I can help you with?
You've done enough. Please go.
And take your... pig with you.
Oh, all the blessings in the world to you, my friend.
All the blessings in the world.
I know there's a hole in your heart where Caroline was.
I'll get the pig.
Come on, Girlie. Come on.
I'll slide it to you.
Bye, Bill.
You got it. Watch the door now.
(door closes)
Yeah, she hooked up with a married man when she was 17.
And you thought Mick was an iffy choice.
God, it's so sad.
She had to give up her kid.
Remy, she lied to us.
For years.
We have a brother just down the road.
If you had been gay, you could have ended up married to him.
It's a close call.
Meanwhile, she was going on dream vacations
and abandoning us to the wolves.
Yeah.
I guess she really loved that guy.
How are we gonna tell Bill?
We're not. Are you crazy?!
Don't you think he deserves to know the truth?
No.
No, he deserves to have his nice memories.
She's dead, Tig.
(bell tinkling)
REMY: Oh. Poor Bill.
(bell tinkling)
-Did you have any luck? -REMY: We-we were just supposed
to put up flyers.
We didn't look for the cat.
I hope... Bonkerz makes it through the night.
There are all kinds of predators
lurking out there, waiting to attack.
Well, I guess she'll have to learn
to survive on her own, like the rest of us.
(bell tinkling)
I'll be your sound engineer.
-Okay, great. -Yeah.
It's my first time,
but I totally know what I'm doing.
Okay.
I'm a fan, by the way.
Thanks. I didn't know anybody here listened to the show,
except my brother.
Well, actually, I looked it up for prep.
Okay.
God, that sub they have for you is terrible.
-Thank you. -I mean, she has nothing to say.
Whereas you, you're like,
"This is what I'm thinking about right now."
Just wish everyone would do that all day long.
-Right. -Okay.
I will be in there whenever you're ready.
Great.
(sighs)
Just thinking about this time...
when I was a kid, and I walked into my mother's bedroom,
and she was reading a book called
What On Earth Am I Doing Here?
And I remember feeling like,
"What on earth are you doing here?
"You're being my mother.
That's what you're doing here."
That was her role.
I didn't even think about what it meant.
How she had no idea what she was doing here.
She was lost.
And I couldn't see that.
And I'm right now just remembering when I was 15.
My grandmother Margie sent me this pink sweatshirt
with teddy bears doing cartwheels across the front.
It was a hideous pink sweatshirt.
(laughs)
She had no idea who I was,
and that I was never going to be
the person that would wear a pink sweatshirt
with teddy bears on it.
♪ Given the final choice ♪
She put me in a role.
I was her cute little granddaughter.
She saw what she thought I should be,
not this complicated, sometimes dark person
trapped inside a teddy bear sweatshirt.
Which makes me wonder
if we're all just wandering around
in the pink sweatshirts of what other people want
or need us to be.
And how much we don't even see each other.
Or ourselves, really.
(sighs)
I mean, what would happen
if we all just took the sweatshirts off?
♪ Come on, come on ♪
♪ We live for this ♪
♪ Come on, come on ♪
♪ We live for this ♪
♪ Come on, come on ♪
♪ We live for this ♪
♪ Come on, come on ♪
♪ We live for this ♪
♪ Do-do-do, do, do, do, do ♪
♪ Do-do-do-do, do-do ♪
♪ Do-do-do, do, do, do, do ♪
♪ Do-do-do-do, do-do ♪
♪ Do-do-do, do, do, do, do ♪
♪ Do-do-do-do, do-do ♪
♪ Do-do-do, do, do, do, do ♪
♪ Do-do-do-do, do-do ♪
♪ Do-do-do, do, do, do, do ♪
♪ Do-do-do-do, do-do. ♪