- What's up with her? - She's bipolar.
l can't hide it.
- He can't be without me. - l won't say anything.
But then you're going to go to school.
l've signed the divorce papers. l've never been happier!
You have to compromise sometimes.
- l don't want a bourgeois garden. - Nor a Pippi Longstocking garden.
- Better that than Queen lngrid! - For God's sake, it's a garden!
Do you think it's sexy? But l thought you preferred bad boys.
''Bad boys''?
You mean dangerous guys like you with a low neckline and hairy chest?
l wonder what reality show l'd have been in if they'd existed in my days.
Not one in which you had to be diplomatic.
- One in which you have to fight. - Of course!
- l'd never have signed up. - Why not? l'd have voted for you.
- l love you. - Me too.
Thank you.
l love you.
Come here, kiss me. No, don't kiss me. Yes, kiss me!
l LOVE YOU
MOCK EXAMS SlLENCE!
- Time's up. - l've got 2 m-more minutes, haven't l?
You have exactly how much time l tell you, Mads.
So...what are you doing here then?
l'm d-demonstrating an i-induction voltage.
- C-can't l just... - No. No, you can't just anything.
Please. Go ahead.
What's your plan here? Or are you just trying to say the name Ö-ö-örsted?
Hi, Mads.
- Has something happened? - No. l'm going home.
Hey. Stop. What's up?
- Flemming failed me. - But it was just a mock.
You were probably nervous. lt's ages until the exams.
He did it on purpose. Now he wants to drop my grade.
- He can't know what that is. - Well he said he would.
So why should l even bother coming?
Have you got a fetish for burnt-out physics teachers?
- What do you know about him? - Flemming? Why, what's up?
He's been picking on a pupil and l want to know if it's true before l do anything.
He's a classic '68. Bureaucracy is his religion, the union agreement his Bible.
l'd be a bit diplomatic if l were you.
Hi, Flemming.
Rita.
l just bumped into Mads.
He says that you already know you're going to fail him next summer.
- Nah... - l must've misunderstood then.
l mean, one can't just go taking away a pupil's motivation.
You can't take away something that doesn't exist.
Mads is having a hard time, but he has the will and fight in him.
He can't get good grades simply for trying.
- He has serious problems, Flemming. - Like what?
- He...lives alone with his mother. - ''He lives alone with his mother''.
ln that case l'll give him top grades. l feel sorry for the boy.
He's been bunking off a lot, but he's doing much better now.
- He just needs a little extra support. - He gets all the support he needs.
- He needs more than four minutes! - l'm not doing unpaid work!
We have a union agreement to stick to, you know.
This is an interesting conservation, but...
lt's a quarter to three. l'm done for the day.
- ''Coach''. - Hi. l qualified yesterday.
- Congratulations. - Thanks.
- Was it interesting? - lt was...fantastic.
Constructive communication, experience economics-
-and the five languages of love. Which was interesting given my divorce.
- Coaching is... - l know a bit about it myself.
- As a hobby, l mean. - OK...
''Those who make hast slowly take great strides forwards.''
''Forbearance means to bear the force.''
''The problem is never the problem itself, but how you approach it.''
- ''The problem is never...'' - ''...the problem itself.''
l simply have to write that down!
Now what was it?
''The problem is never the problem itself, but how you approach it.''
Brilliant.
So l was thinking. Now that l've qualified-
-perhaps l could hold a little course in communication for the teachers?
Good idea. Some of them need to learn how to talk about their feelings.
Do you have anyone particular in mind? Because l can't do magic!
We'll do it!
l can't guarantee that they'll sign up, but you can always put up a notice.
- Or you could make it compulsory. - There's not the money for that.
- Rasmus... - Yes?
When the winds of change blow-
-some people become windmills, others wind-breaks.
- Yes...of course it's... - Great, then that's settled!
Hi. - Hi, girls.
Come in and sit down.
Where's Mads?
- He's not in today. - Has no one seen him?
- l've not seen him. - He left yesterday and didn't come back.
For God's sake, Mads, put it on mute if you want to hide.
Can l come in?
Things are looking up. We've come far together.
lt would be a shame to throw all that away because of Flemming.
- No one calls my son stupid. - No. That is totally out of order.
But Mads has to attend his lessons.
- You'll be leaving school soon. - Flemming's going to fail me.
Flemming can't stop you passing. But you must sit your exams.
- We have compulsory education. - What a smart system.
lt doesn't matter how the children cope, they have to go anyway.
- That's not how it works, Kirsten. - l remember them. Fucking sadists.
Look, if Mads doesn't go to school, l'll have to contact the welfare officer-
-and ultimately the social services will be involved.
- That'll come down hardest on you. - Sorry?
You knew l was sick but didn't report it. So you're the one with the problem.
lt's not my future at stake.
Hey...
Did you understand me? lf you don't go to school, they'll call in social services.
Mum's right. You're just like all the others.
Today we'll be talking about advertising.
Does anyone know what a target group is? - Jeppe?
A target group is made up of the same kind of people.
- Like we're the ''Teenager'' target group. - Yes...and no.
lt's not about age, it's about habits.
Do you remember the survey you did?
By analysing it, people can see who you are and what your habits are.
Whether it's Facebook, TV-watching, local papers or porn sites.
People sit there analysing them in order to sell products.
And Jeppe...superficially you might be a teenager, but...
...when we read your responses, we can see.\.\.\
...that you actually belong to the target group...
...of Women over 65.
How can that be used?
Don't forget your ''Family Weekly''!
Maybe we should buy some custard creams?
- What are you laughing at? - Jeppe's apparently an old woman.
We'll have to get you some prunes. They're good for the digestion.
Hi, David!
Hi, Mum.
So this is your friend!
- Hi. Lis. - l'm Jeppe.
Friend, right! When you have anal sex with someone, they're more than that.
l'm Rita.
l'm his mother-in-law.
Mother-in-law?
l mean...
Oh, l see.
- Fancy a cup of coffee? - No.
- We should be getting home. - Yes, home.
David, are you coming?
l'll call you.
-Hasn't he...? -No.
l didn't know.
Are you alright?
- Why hasn't David told his family? - That's his business, isn't it?
Sure.
But how can they not have noticed? He's really...
...in love with you.
- Do they have problems with it? - We'll find out, thanks to you.
- They'll just have to accept it. - Stay out of it.
Good night.
- You weren't to know. - No, l know.
Don't make yourself into a bad parent. After all, they're the ones who left.
l love you.
Me too.
- Why can't you say it? - Say what?
- ''l love you.'' - Me too.
Ha ha. l'm serious.
Do you doubt my love?
- No. - Then what difference does it make?
Your girlfriend doesn't want to talk about feelings.
But on the other hand she has an insatiable need to be fucked.
- You've got a dream woman. - l know, but...
- l've just... Sometimes, l'm... - No...
- Hi, Rita. - Hi.
You look thoughtful.
Tell me what's on your mind.
There's a lot of talk about feelings at home.
Well, you did choose a softy like Rasmus.
l've got nothing against soft men...
...just as long as l don't have to be a soft woman.
You might as well be like other women if Rasmus isn't man enough.
To be honest, l see you as a good friend.
Thanks. l think...
lf you ever need to talk about work or Rasmus, just say the word.
OK?
Welcome to constructive communication.
Constructive communication is the most important thing at a workplace.
Letting people have their say... - Yes, Flemming?
ls this compulsory? So we have to take part?
Flemming, it'll soon be over if we cooperate.
Just a second...
lf we have the courage to be honest about what we expect of each other-
-then we've already made good progress.
- Now l'd like us to do some exercises... - l don't have my PE kit with me.
l mean exercises in communication and conflict resolution.
That's what my son works with in the UN.
Communication...and civil war.
- Well l don't think we've got that far...! - You never know.
- Shall we begin with a little exercise? - Good idea.
Let's start then.
Flemming, if you can come here...
The quicker you come here, the sooner you get...
...one of these. A constructive smiley.
And when we've all got one, we're done!
So, Flemming...?
Tell us something that makes you happy here.
Going home.
lt should be something positive. Say: ''What makes me happy is...''
What makes me happy is doing what's right-
-regardless of the pressure l'm under from some of my colleagues.
lntegrity is an excellent trait.
- Or ''idiot''. - Rita!
At least l intend to give lazy and sloppy pupils the grades they deserve.
All they know is what we teach them. But then you have to teach.
- l do what l'm paid to do. - OK, so this is all about you, not them.
- You're spoiling the exercise. - This is giving me a headache.
lf you could only see beyond your nose and do more than the union demands.
But no. l suppose that's too hard for you.
A mediocre fool in vomit-coloured velour and shoes too small for him.
- My migraine's coming on. - This has got out of hand.
Shouldn't we try to communicate about...
...a workplace conflict!
Rita has said what she wanted to say. - Haven't you, Rita?
There.
This is a fantastic exercise, Helle, really.
But now it's a quarter to four, and l'm off. Thank you!
That was really interesting, Helle.
What Flemming's doing is wrong.
He's made his mind up to fail a pupil without any grounds whatsoever.
You'll have to sack him.
l can't just sack him, and you know that.
You know how a good teacher can completely bring out the best in a pupil?
Flemming is the direct opposite. He stifles pupils with abilities.
l can't sack him because he's lazy.
He's not lazy, he's useless, Rasmus! lf a pilot can't land his plane-
-is it worse to fire the pilot or to let his passengers die in a crash?
He's entitled to a salary for at least three years, but he retires in 1 10 days.
l'm also counting the days.
But no one will mind if you don't turn up to his reception.
Reception?
He's to receive the queen's medal for long and faithful service.
- Stupid agreement. - l bet you're glad to have it though.
lf one day you have a boss who doesn't like you or if you fall sick.
lf you have a baby or want to take a course.
Or when you see your pension...
lf you carry on like this, l'll report you.
l have a proposal. A constructive, progressive proposal.
Have you been on a course?
l have a pupil who's lost the will to study because of you and you won't help him.
Which l understand, since in your mind you've already retired - in 1 10 days.
l've got a lesson to go to.
There are 1 10 days to go until the summer holidays...and your retirement.
Rita...
We have such a good union agreement.
You can only get fired after 120 days off sick.
You don't have to be a maths genius to work it out.
You've done your duty.
40 years on the labour market.
40 years with ungrateful little bastards. Why stay until the bitter end?
All l'm saying is that it wouldn't be strange if you felt worn out-
-and were suddenly struck by a mild but prolonged sickness.
My, my, Flemming, that doesn't sound good.
Take care of yourself.
What do you want?
You haven't come back to school.
lf l say l've got rid of Flemming, would you come back?
- Yes, it... -Will you?
ls Flemming right when he says you make excuses?
Good.
- So do we have a deal? - Yes. We have a deal.
The caretaker says that he can't get it off.
Do l have to do everything myself?
l really need to...
...talk to someone right now.
- This was a good idea. - They're great pizzas.
He told me he'd bought one of those stone ovens...
- l'm sorry... - lt's OK...
Sorry.
Coaching is such an incredible cliché.
Did you know that half the women had just got divorced?
- No, l didn't know. - lt was so pathetic!
l don't like being divorced.
Sometimes...
...l miss him so much.
Actually, l don't miss him at all...
...l just miss having someone there.
- l'm sorry to burden you with this. - Think nothing of it.
l find it...refreshing.
- Refreshing? - Yes...
When you live with someone who...
...isn't so open about her feelings, it's refreshing.
Some people open up too much, others too little.
- lt can be a very...lonely feeling. - l know.
Hi, darling.
Are you coming home? l've invited David's parents round.
This evening? OK, l'll be there.
That was Rita. She's invited Jeppe's parents-in-law round...
- l'd best go home. Leave that, l'll take it. - OK.
Bye, then.
- What? - l've asked them round for a drink.
- Don't worry. - You weren't to interfere.
l'll behave myself.
They were glad l'd called, actually.
So now we can talk like sensible adults.
Like sensible adults and a little old lady.
Put that on the table.
- Hi. - Hi. Come in.
- Hi... - Hi...
- Here. - ls it a winter aconite?
An alpine cyclamen.
lt's lovely. Thank you very much. Come and sit down.
Thanks.
Cheers, and welcome.
- We were taken by surprise in the shop. - l can understand that.
l was a little blunt, and l apologise for that.
- l didn't know that you didn't know. - That's alright.
We've had time now to think about it and have reached a decision.
A decision?
l'm afraid that David and Jeppe can't see each other any more.
What?
David has to focus on certain aspects of his life right now.
His homework and his education.
So there's no space for a boyfriend at the moment.
So it's not because they're both boys?
- Absolutely not. - Oh, no. No, no.
- Not at all. - No...
No...
But what a delicious wine.
lt's just cheap piss, but drink, so that you're drunk when l say this:
You son is one hundred per cent gay.
He likes weepies and big cocks and hair products.
And that won't change simply because you don't like it.
So either you accept it, or you have a fucked up relationship with him.
Excuse me, but...
David, you can stay over if you like.
No, he's coming home with us. As long as he lives at home, we decide.
- David, you can live here. - Who do you think you are?
Come on, we're going. - David, l'm sure you'll make the right decision.
l'll show you out. Maybe we can sleep on it?
l mean it. You can live here.
But they're my parents.
- You weren't going to interfere! - Jeppe, you heard them...
You've not exactly made things better!
Jeppe! l'm sorry, Jeppe!
Piss!
Thanks, darling.
l'm flying to Dubai early tomorrow, so l'll be home late.
Have a good day.
l'd forgotten some assignments, so my girlfriend brought them over.
l'm returning them to my class today.
She looked nice.
But l can't recall you having told me about her before.
l guess there's not much to tell. Her name's Marie.
- Have you been together long? - No. Well, sort of.
Seven, eight years, or so.
lf there's anything you want to talk about, just say the word.
After all, we are friends...
Yep.
- Thanks for dinner. - You're welcome.
- lsn't he coming down? - He says he's not hungry.
Would it be OK if... Can l go and talk to him?
l have talked to him. He's just a bit down.
Maybe he needs to talk to a man...
Yes?
Hi, can l come in?
Have you heard from him?
Just a text. He's been grounded.
That can't last forever.
They can't stop you seeing each other.
He's afraid of making them even more angry.
Funny how important it is for some people whom one falls in love with.
David says l'm like an old woman. Maybe it'd help if they heard that.
Maybe you should try manning up.
- Have you fought for him? - They make the rules.
l thought that Rita made the rules, until l said that l wanted her.
- Hi. - l don't think it's a good idea you...
Who is it?
- Hi, Jeppe. - Hi.
- David's doing his homework. - lt's you l wanted to talk to.
We're together, whether you like it or not.
l love him, and you should be proud of him instead.
That's all very nice, Jeppe, but we've made our minds up, OK?
But all that means is that we'll see each other behind your backs.
So either David and l can be honest with you-
-or you imagine that you call the shots. You can think over what you want.
But now l'm going to give David his jumper, OK?
See you tomorrow.
- Bye. - Bye.
ls the flag flying because of Flemming's reception?
- How did you get rid of Flemming? - l hit upon a solution.
Why are you helping me?
Because l believe in you. Do you understand that?
- Yes. - Off home with you now.
- We have a deal, right? - Yes.
- Hi, sweetheart. On your way home? - No, l'm going to the cinema with David.
Hang on...
What did Rasmus say to you yesterday?
lt was just...men's stuff.
- See you. - Bye.
Congratulations on receiving the queen's medal. lt is a great honour.
We're glad that you could come and celebrate with us despite your sickness.
We've bought a little wine and cheese...
So help yourselves until it's all gone, and here's to a pleasant evening.
Once more, congratulations.
Hi. l didn't think you were coming.
Jeppe told me about your chat and...well...
l just wanted to say something.
l love you.
Me too.
ldiot.